Welcome to the Hormonal Shit-Show.
A chaotic, unpredictable ride that can be maddening, exhausting, and yes—often hilarious (to others 🙄).
🤯 One minute you’re freezing, the next you’re sweating.🤯 Mood swings that make a rollercoaster look tame.🤯 Brain fog so bad, you forget your best friend’s name.
Forget why you walked into a room? Shivering one minute, stripping down the next? Losing your shit for no damn reason? Using your bra as a pocket? (Wait… who does that?) 👀 Or maybe you’ve had the absolute joy of experiencing air escaping from the southern hemisphere with zero warning. 💨🙃 (Not here. Not me. Never… 😏)
The Real Symptoms? Buckle up.
🔥 Frequent urination, vaginal dryness, painful intercourse. (Fun 🙃)🔥 Belly fat that won’t budge—because menopause is hoarding mode.🔥 Hot flashes, night sweats, unpredictable emotions.🔥 Hair loss, dry skin, exhaustion, and joint pain.🔥 Stress, anxiety, and depression—on steroids.
💀 The Good News? (Wait… there’s good news???)
At least we’ve got each other to go batshit crazy through this hormonal shit-show together.
🎶 Do your boobs hang low? 🎶
(If you haven’t had a boob job, do they wobble to the floor?)(If you can’t find a damn good, supportive bra?)🎶 Can you tie them in a knot? Nope, because they’re lopsided. 🎶🎶 Can you tie them in a bow? Are you f**king kidding me?! 🎶
If so, congratulations—you might be in menopause.
🔥 Menopause is a wild ride, y’all. 🎢🥵🍷
🔥 Grab a fan, pour a drink, and embrace the madness. 🍷🔥😏