Top 15 Petty-as-Hell Divorce Stories from the 1500s to 1700s
✨ Because pettiness didn’t start with text messages—it started with royal courts, livestock halters, and a whole lot of scandal.
Divorce has never been a quiet affair, but back in the day, it came with duels, drama, and some seriously bold moves. Long before modern courtrooms and legal settlements, people found wildly creative (and downright savage) ways to call it quits. These 15 stories from the 17th century and earlier are all true—and prove that the art of being petty in love is nothing new.
1. Henry VIII & Catherine of Aragon (1527–1533)
In the early 1500s, King Henry VIII had one job: produce a male heir. After nearly 20 years and only one surviving daughter with Catherine of Aragon, Henry wanted out. The Pope refused his request for annulment, partly because Catherine’s nephew was Emperor Charles V. So, in a move that redefined petty power plays, Henry broke from the Roman Catholic Church, created the Church of England, and made himself Supreme Head—all so he could dump Catherine and marry Anne Boleyn. Catherine never accepted the annulment and continued to call herself Henry’s rightful wife until her death.
2. James & Elizabeth Luxford (1639, Massachusetts)
In the first recorded legal divorce in the American colonies, Elizabeth Luxford discovered her husband, James, was already married back in England. Bigamy was a criminal offense in Puritan Massachusetts, and when the court found out, they didn’t just grant Elizabeth a divorce. James was fined, placed in the stocks, and banished from the colony. Colonial cancel culture came fast and hard.
3. Denis & Anne Clarke (1643, Massachusetts)
Anne Clarke’s husband, Denis, abandoned her and had a second family in Puritan New England. When she found out, she petitioned the Boston court for a divorce. Denis confessed to the affair in writing, and the court granted Anne a full divorce on January 5, 1643—the second recorded in colonial America. It was a rare but clear message: even in Puritan times, lying and running off with someone else could land you in serious trouble.
4. John Manners & Anne Pierrepont (1670, England)
John Manners, later the 1st Duke of Rutland, married Anne Pierrepont in 1658. When she gave birth during his absence, he questioned the child’s legitimacy. He first sought a legal separation, but that wasn’t enough. In 1670, he lobbied Parliament to declare the children illegitimate and grant him a full divorce. It worked. His case set a major legal precedent as the first divorce granted by Parliament since the English Reformation.
5. Theodosia & Thomas Ivie (1650s, England)
Theodosia Ivie wasn’t going to go quietly. After separating from her husband Thomas, she dragged him through a marathon of court battles over alimony and property. She even appealed directly to Oliver Cromwell. When Thomas tried to get the alimony order overturned, Theodosia fired back with pamphlets airing all their dirty laundry. She might’ve been the first documented divorce blogger in history.
6. Elizabeth Tuttle & Richard Edwards (1691, Connecticut)
Elizabeth Tuttle married Richard Edwards in 1667, but things got rocky fast. The birth of their first child only seven months after the wedding raised eyebrows in their Puritan community. Allegations of infidelity, instability, and public scandal followed. In 1691, Richard was granted a divorce on grounds of adultery—a rare and controversial move in colonial New England. Elizabeth later became known as the grandmother of famed preacher Jonathan Edwards.
7. Penelope Rich & Robert Rich (1605, England)
Penelope Rich, sister to the Earl of Essex, was in a passionless political marriage to Robert Rich. By the late 1590s, she had taken up with Charles Blount, a high-ranking courtier. Despite her very public affair and multiple children with Blount, Robert didn’t seek a divorce until years later. In 1605, he finally succeeded. Penelope married Charles shortly after—but the church never recognized it, and both were banished from court. Still, they stayed together.
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8. Katherine More & Samuel More (1616–1620, England)
When Samuel More accused his wife Katherine of having an affair with Jacob Blakeway, he claimed all four of their children were illegitimate. Unable to prove their prior betrothal (which could’ve invalidated her marriage), Katherine lost custody of the kids. In a move that still stuns historians, Samuel arranged to send the children to the New World aboard the Mayflower in 1620. Three of them died shortly after arrival. It remains one of the most devastating and bitter custody disputes in early colonial history.
9. Ruth & Hezekiah Bunnell (1712, Connecticut)
After Hezekiah Bunnell deserted Ruth for five years, she had enough. In 1712, she petitioned the Connecticut courts for a divorce on grounds of abandonment. The court agreed. In an era when women had very few legal protections, Ruth’s case stands out as an early example of a woman successfully navigating the legal system to escape a neglectful husband.
10. Martha & William Clements (1656, Massachusetts)
Martha and William Clements were a Boston couple locked in conflict. In 1656, their case went before Justice Humphrey Atherton. While records don’t confirm if a divorce was granted, the preserved court documents show the early legal process in action, as Martha testified against her husband’s conduct. It’s one of the earliest written records of a contested marriage in colonial New England.
11. Cornelia van Nijenroode & Pieter Cnoll (1689, Holland)
Cornelia, the daughter of a Dutch merchant and a Japanese woman, married Pieter Cnoll and moved to the Netherlands. But after years of controlling behavior and financial manipulation, Cornelia had enough. She dragged her husband to court in 1689 and secured a rare legal separation—unusual for women at the time. She became one of the first women in Dutch legal history to win financial freedom through the courts.
12. Lady Anne Roos & John Manners (1666, England)
Lady Anne Roos was accused by her husband, John Manners, of infidelity and bearing illegitimate children. The scandal exploded publicly when he petitioned Parliament to declare the children illegitimate, and Parliament agreed. He received a full divorce—an extreme legal and social step in the 17th century. The case became one of the most talked-about divorces in British aristocratic history.
13. John Milton & Mary Powell (1642–1645, England)
When Mary Powell left poet John Milton shortly after they married in 1642, he was furious—not just emotionally, but philosophically. He published multiple pamphlets advocating for the right to divorce based on incompatibility. While he didn’t get his wish through the courts, Milton’s writing challenged religious and social norms, stirring the pot of divorce reform in a deeply conservative society.
14. Wife-Selling as Divorce (17th Century England)
In rural England, formal divorce was reserved for the rich. But among the working class, a brutal tradition emerged: wife-selling. With a halter around her neck like livestock, a woman would be “sold” at market to another man. These events were often attended by entire communities. Though not legal in the courts, they were accepted socially as a way to dissolve unhappy marriages when no better option existed.
15. Samuel & Elizabeth Terry (1670, Massachusetts)
Samuel Terry abandoned his wife Elizabeth for years before she took legal action. In 1670, the court granted her a divorce, making hers one of the earliest successful female-initiated divorces in the Massachusetts colony. The case set a quiet but powerful precedent for other colonial women trapped in one-sided marriages.
Final Thoughts: Pettiness Is Timeless
Whether it was kings throwing tantrums or women fighting for freedom in court, divorce in centuries past was just as dramatic—if not more—than anything we see today. These stories remind us that messy breakups have always been part of human history.
👉 Want more? Read the most outrageous modern divorce stories here.
